I’m not gonna lie, I have a long list of pet peeves. Coming in at #1 is hearing people eat. Yea, yea…I get that we all have to eat, but why do some people have to do it as if they’ve never fully evolved from the caveman days? If when you’re chewing you’re lips part and I can hear your stomach churning lip smacking…you’re doing it wrong!! Let me give you a quick lesson:
1. Insert modest sized portion of food into mouth.
2. Chew food with mouth continually shut, do not let lips part.
Here are also a couple rules for eating in public:
1. Kettle cooked chips or something of equally loud crunch should never be eaten in close proximity to another person.
2. Tuna fish or something of equally pungent odor should be eaten alone, behind closed doors.
3. For yogurt, pudding, or the like, refrain from using your spoon to scrape the side of the container to get every last drop. I promise, you’ll be able to live without those extra calories!
4. If when you open the package of food it is going to sound like a rabid animal wrestling with a sheet of tin foil, refrain from opening in public.
That wasn’t so hard!
Source: Cheese Curd in Paradise